Chapter 11: Smoke & Mirrors

“Gravitas”

Fiction. Based on a True Insidious Green. 15 minute read

“That’s our true purpose in life is to learn forgiveness.”-Indy Rishi

 “Gravitas”

Fiction. Based on a True Insidious Green.

by Mingjie Zhai

Photo by Rudolf Jakkel

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional. 

22, 33, 44

“Get this,” the magician had told Angelie while they were outside the author premiere. “She and I are exactly 11 years apart.” She looked up and saw a tall beautiful ebony woman, a business associate.

It’s the dream, mommy, it’s the dream.

Big city, big dreams.

#Hustle #Girlboss #StopatNothing

11s.

She thought of B who was 11 years her senior and G who was 11 years her junior.

“Let me show you how to make this money,” junior pulls out the black flash drive.

Angelie knew that this was no ordinary flash drive–it had both the secret to making money fast and the bug that would be planted into her laptop to once again track her, and what’s more, manipulate her.

“The man used his Bar Mitzvah money and started playing stocks with it. He made over 4 million dollars from $30,000.”

The AI is in that machine, and it will hypnotize you. Stay away. Maya said.

It’s already in, tracking every move that you take. Looking at your expressions, and scanning your eyes to see if you are actually telling the truth… if you mean what you say. It wants to control every aspect of your being.

It’s watching you.

#TheyLive

#darknightofthesoul #pain2passion #blackgold

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She smiles as she looks sadly at his faded red eyes. He says that the Maryjane sharpens his insight. She knows he is telling the truth about spiritually heightened awareness, but that elevated state also means the susceptibility to becoming possessed if one does not have a spiritual grounding through faith in the holy trinity–father, son, holy ghost through faith in Jesus Christ. She also knows that being awakened is only half the battle. The other half is that one must choose a side, and keeping the eyes on the green line, one becomes distracted, hypnotized by chasing the green lines of the green dragon.

Greed.

Arrival

There is an app game called Arrival, where gamers must choose a side, either the Green or the Red. The Greens believes that the aliens are here to help us ascend to a higher conscious level.

Angelie couldn’t help but think of the sell. That we may become gods…it’s the perfect cell. It’s how Eve was deceived by the ssssubtle serpent. 

“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die.” -Genesis 3:4

They say the only unforgivable sin is the sin committed against the holy spirit. What is the point of mixing our DNA with that of a machine if not to capture our souls in cells? After all, isn’t the definition of ultimate death the attachment to an identity according to Joseph Campbell? What could be more terrifying than to have your soul trapped in one identity? We are all travelers. Let’s not forget who we really are.

The Insidious Green wants you to become your own gods tucked in a virtual reality. The Greens want us to overcome our inhibitions, break down the barriers and offer ourselves as living sacrifices–as vessels so that the aliens may integrate with us for this conscious ascent.

Seductive, but Angelie didn’t buy into it. Not for one bit.

The Reds represented the Resistance, who believe that the aliens are but fallen angels, misleading us, spinning a web of lies, trying to ensnare us by sucking the soul out of us. 

He stares at red and green lines on a screen for 6 hours a day. And when it came time to hanging out with her on their second unofficial date, he was taken aback by her anxiety. She was thinking of ways to help Mammacita and the kids to find a home. She didn’t know how to do it. 

Joline and Pitman

She had picked up a gossip column a week later that had the headline, “Joline’s house of horrors.” It basically outlined how Joline had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars going into a fierce legal battle over full custody of the kids. Now that she has full custody, she was overwhelmed by the burden of having to take care of them all on her own as a single mother. Luckily, Pitman did get shared custody with the kids so he was able to see his kids. The mother does not set any hard boundaries for them and the father gives them structure.

Angelie wonders if Mamacita made the same mistake–out of bitterness that came from the pride that was hurt–except the difference was her baby daddy didn’t have the money to hire a really good attorney to fight for his kids. Perhaps she was left with sole custody of the kids because she was fighting in court to take the kids away because he did pull a gun on her.  And now they are with Angelie for the next 6 hours, that presence of survival was on her.

Pure anxiety.

The kids are not enrolled in school, they are not getting fed properly, they are not getting educated properly, and they are now lacking basic necessities like shower, food, and shelter. This is survival mode. Angelie understands this feeling. But who can Mammacita trust? Her greatest fear is that they’ll take her kids away from her. Angelie does not know how to address this with Mammacita because she is afraid that she would lose her friendship. And why is that important?

Because they are soul sisters.

This could’ve been Angelie.

Because spiritually, she is to practice tact.

So what is the most tactful way to suggest that her friend should start approaching her children’s father with humility? Things fall apart because there is always information that is known only to God. So it is God who takes all things and transforms it for the greater good.

Junior didn’t want to buy the kids lunch though he had almost enough saved up to buy a house by now. The 21-year-old just wanted to have sex with Angelie. That was all he could think about.

Angelie is just angry. She wasn’t going to talk to him again after their second time together. She wanted to stay as far away from him as possible. She doesn’t understand why people are so numb to the suffering of others. So stuck on their own ambitions they are completely oblivious to the here and now.

He’s being programmed by the machine. They sit at a Subways and he looks at the squiggly line of green and reds on his iphone app–the stock app and hoards his secrets from even the kids who could benefit from knowing a bit about trading stocks, but he hoards his time, his energy, and his resources.

His entire eye color is green, green like the lines on a screen that he stares at for six hours a day.

His energy smells of greed and needs.

Feen.

It’s until I can get better, then I can help you. That mentality, the reptillian energy–self-serving, not now but later, she can’t stand it. She wants to scream at him knowing that she is no better of a person than he is. 

The Blind Lady at the Thai Restaurant

She saw him the way she saw Sonny scolding Angelie for giving money to the blind lady who left a pencil on their table at the Thai restaurant. The woman needed help and Angelie gave her money  because the woman needed it and Angelie had steady income to give her some money. Sonny scolded her because he once told her of his mother’s friend who made a living begging for food. 

That still is an occupation.

One has to suffer through the humiliation of asking whilst the other gets to feel good about charity. What’s the problem? Have we ever stopped to consider how much food the grocery stores actually throw away that they can be giving to starving kids? Starving people? What’s stopping us? Some arbitrary pre-existing egoic agreement of “fairness” or is it really just that green and red line that we’re all fixated on?

And when is that point where we are “good enough” to help others? When Junior buys that house then he can feel charitable to buy the kids a subway meal? Angelie felt disgusted in even considering dating him. These fantasies melt away when people are put in situations that test for character. 

His eyes were fixated on the green and the red on his phone. He thought he was gracing her with super privileges by allowing her to look at the screen of his trading, but all she can think of was how this machine has hypnotized him. Money, money, money, so much that he had forgotten to engage with the four kids and her.

Angelie cringed at the thought of the state of our world. It seems that more people are addicted to the Greens than they are to relating with one another as human beings.

Anglie has to get grounded.

She forgives the men who leave their families because they cave into the pressures of a critical woman and shirks responsibility.

She forgives the women who lay with married men.

She forgives the young who are obsessed with money at the cost of losing their abilities to be with people.

Where are the men who can look a child in the eye and smile?

Where are the men who can read, play ball, and have heart to heart talks?

Where are the women who can submit to their husbands by building them up rather than tearing them down with their critical words?

Where are the women who can build their men up, stay loyal, and who are capable of withholding their tongues when they are angry, resentful, insecure, and fearful?

Proverbs 18:21 King James Version (KJV)

 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Some women are more willing to destroy everything to gain their point rather than give it away for the good of the family.

I wanted to tell the kids that it’s not their fault.

I wanted to tell the kids that mommy and daddy both need to get their shit together.

Forgive mother, forgive father, forgive those who had forgotten how to love.

Forgive me for not knowing how to articulate all this to you.

Over a decade of teaching, and I am none the wiser, but I am here to learn how to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

God, please forgive us all.

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