Chapter 6: Down the Rabbit Hole

“Drum and Brass”

Fiction. Based on a True Revelation about an Ex-Boyfriend. 13 minute read

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1, KJV

“I still love you,” Malachi says to you. You don’t believe him. “I love Cherie too,” he then added. Well if you love her and you love me than you really don’t know love, you thought.

Love is an action. It takes time to get to know someone and cultivate that.

Even the most basic man knows in his heart of hearts what love is and what love is not.

Malachi continues. “You thought I was a demon after I came in you.”

“You manifested a daemon,” you corrected him.

He continued, “It fucked me up for years. I went into an 8 week therapy sesson. You said I was a succubus.”

He was sucking the life chi from you.

“You wanted us to go to Oregon, and I thought I could finally show off in front of my ex girlfriend, but you never came.”

That’s cause I’m not a trophy to be shown off to, you thought, but kept respectful. Holy spirit had told you to just listen to him. Not to what is actually being said, but why this person is saying it. What is the call to action, what is his intent, and what is his payoff?

Listen not just for the lyrics but the melody, Holy Spirit said.

“You kept insisting that I was gay and when it hurt my feelings and I started crying, you were happy because it proved that you were right. Just because I’m sensitive to emotion doesn’t mean that I’m gay. It means that I am a conscious man.”

“You are not always conscious,” you start to get this feeling of anger inside. He’s arrogant.

“You had extorted the $200 from me.”

“Whoa, that $200 was my money. I did not take the flight to Portland because we were not on good terms.”

“You took my laptop.”

“You have control issues. You want to control everything.”

“See how narcissists work? First they love bomb, then they gather information about you, then when they are in their weakness, they use the information against you so that you can become weak with them, so then they can feel stronger. They thrive on other people’s weaknesses.”  

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, you realized that Malachi was gaslighting without even realizing he was doing it. He was doing the very thing he was describing and claiming that you would do on him. This is black mirror–a massive projection. It’s like putting two mirrors together, it creates an endless karmic loop that is never ending. The ultimate suffering is getting trapped in two dark mirrors reflecting each other. You realize that the only intervention is through the Holy Spirit’s words to cut through the illusion.

It’s cause you’re a malignant narcissist, and I am attracted to you because my mother is a covert narcissist, but it’s not your fault. See you grew up with failed attachment patterns with your father, so you’re attracted to violence and abuse. Do you remember when we went to the mall and the man behind the wheel almost hit you and you got angry? Do you remember getting up and you wanted to hit him? But then I got scared, and you blamed me for not standing up for you? You made me feel like a fag. I even forgave you when you had left to sleep with an abuser. I took you back remember? And you didn’t even say Hi to me when you were at my show that I was performing at. You were talking about your media organization. You were not even conscious that I could have gotten you in.

And your mother. I could tell that she wasn’t getting any because her pelvic was placed forward. She told you that pirates were pencils when your father left with other women, and you had lost your respect for your mother. In fact, that is why you suppressed your feminine side, and became more masculine. You started becoming a narcissist because your father is probably a narcissist because you associated him with power.”

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you took in the info that Malachi gave to you. Most of it is true, but it also gave you his melody. I am smart. See I can provide so much value for you. Look what you have been missing out on. I could have been your savior.

And then you realized the mirror. The projection.  

See how amazing I am? See what sacrifices I made for you?

It’s exactly how you came off to Rylie.

Malachi made you want to run far far away from him because his neediness is suffocating.

After he had talked for a good hour and a half, he finally had give you some time to speak, though he was afraid of my reaction, so for the transition, he gave scenarios of what you would say. He made a disclaimer that he was just giving me all this information for your learning, and frankly, that is exactly why you had called him. And you got a lot of learning from it. You were staring into a darkly mirror. A mirror of mass projection, control, and codependency. You saw Malachi’s sickness for what it is.

You responded with the ugly truth. “Being with you felt like I was Hansel and Gretel at the gingerbread house. You were fattening me up so I can stay complacent and weak so you can find a way to fix me. I didn’t want to be around you because you felt like a distraction to my path. Truth was, I never really loved you. I felt like I was in a lesbian relationship. You were more of a girlfriend to me that happened to have a penis and great hands, but were like two sisters bickering together.”

“I am more masculine than most men. I am a conscious man. What do you want me to beat you, yell at you?,” he interjected.

“No, you’re describing the negative masculine. And your being a negative feminine right–.”

“You have no idea nor can you appreciate what a conscious man looks like. You’re so in your wounds that can’t be with anybody else but an abuser, because you’ve had failed attachment patterns with your dad and mother.” This rubbed you the wrong way. There is a stronghold Baphomet energy in Malachi. You realize that he is placing curses in your mind. Now you understand how you showed up for Rylie when you had told him that his calling you crazy was a sign of his growing up with emotional abuse. Even if it were to be true, it wasn’t the right thing to do.


God is always on time. He will always make provisions for what He has designed you to do. The negative feminine thrives on the weakness of others. You had been with a man who took on the negative feminine. Perhaps, he was doing too much Kundalini.

You finally ended the call with the cold hard truth, “I left you because I did not want to be in a Lesbian relationship. I wanted a man, not a woman in a man’s body.”


Ms. Faye told you, “Non believers have a projection of love, because everything here in the matrix is a projection, an imitation of Love, but true love comes from Jesus’ love coursing through after you have humbly received his love for you.”

Ms. Rose asked,“Do you have God’s words?”

“What do you mean?” you ask back.

“Do you ask God what to do, and wait for His answers? Or do you just start doing what you think is best for the situation?”

“I ask, and I don’t wait. I’m impatient,” you admitted.

“Did you ask Jesus to come into your heart?”

“I just asked today.”

“Because what you do in the flesh, your will? It’s going to be inhabited by demons.The house may be clean, but it will still be empty if you do not have Christ as your first love. A demon can not inhabit a vessel if it is already inhabited by the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.”

You had tingles. You know from Peterson’s rules that you must assume that the person you are talking to knows something you don’t. And there it is.

For non-believers, pure love is only a mirror image of the most High because we are in the mirror state of being in this realm. So it is important for one to receive Christ into their hearts, so they may experience and generate love from Christ’ heart into this world. Speaking life into possibilities must first come from a Christ-Centered heart, or it becomes an imitation of Love.

Witchcraft is the work of the flesh. This flesh, trained in sin, trained to be carnal, and our machines (our veins are our wires). The Bible, we shall put off corruption, and put on incorruption. He has another glorified machine to house the spirit. The flesh is corrupted. The flesh is tied to the impulses of the earth. He is living out of the sin-ses. Satan feeds your sins-es. The man must deny his own flesh.

When you fast, you are crucifying into your own flesh. Witches have been trained to fight the spirit and yield to the flesh. Satan needs the flesh to control our bodies.

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